From the USA:
The Problem:
Changing a
lightbulb the Christian way!
How many
Christian does it take to do it?
Charismatic
Only one: Hands are already in
the air!
Pentecostal
Ten: One to change the bulb, and
nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterian
None: Lights will go on and off
at predestined times
Roman Catholic
None: Candles only
Baptist
At least fifteen: One to change
the bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian (Anglican)
Three: One to call the
electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much
better the old one was.
Mormons
Five: One to change the bulb, and
four wives to tell him how to do it.
Nazarene
Six: One woman to replace the
bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Unitarians
We choose not to make a statement
either in favour of or against the need for a lightbulb. However, if
in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that
is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your lightbulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will
explore a number of lightbulb traditions including incandescent,
fluorenscent, three way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists
Undetermined: Whether your light
is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light
bulb, tunipbulb or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is
planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Lutherans
All of them: Lutherans never
change light bulb or denomination, even in burnouts.Faith alone
carries them through the period of darkness until they, including
bulb, are turned on again by love and all, not only bulb, shall be changed.
Kingdom of God
Christ Himself: Ever since God
said Let there be light, there was light, with or without
bulbs. In case of darkness change of anything doesnt help
unless Christ Himself comes to supply darkness with hands to grasp
the light.